ADEDAR is not all happy-go-lucky....

Today is one of those days that I am wondering what I am doing here. My posts may come off as all here is happy-go-lucky, but it's not. It's stressful. My cup gets full and I overflow. That is my day today. That is how I am feeling. And it hurts. It hurts a lot. Because this is where my heart is. My heart is with rugby and these kids. But I wonder how can I make this work because how it's going, it's too stressful and I can't continue like this.

One of the obstacles I face here on a regular basis is the fight against football/soccer. Not that we are against football/soccer, but that they don't give us room to be able to do what we want and need to make rugby grow. I spent my whole day until midday today looking for a field to have our tournament this Saturday. I asked around last week, a few weeks ago. One of the big problems is that fields can't give us an answer on if we can use it or not until the Football Association informs that field that there is or is not a game at their field that coming Saturday (and this is on the Thursday). Soccer gets priority (all the time here). And I get people here saying yes we need other sports besides football. Soooo, give us the space to do that!

Other obstacle. Racism. Maybe it's time I start to feel it. I am white. I have that white privelege. I will not deny it. And here I feel the racism against whites. Not in the same way, actually opposite. Because of my color, I am expected to give away money as if it grows on my arm. I am going around asking PUBLIC fields for time to use the field. As soon as they see me, a white person, they start talking about, "Oh yes, you can use the field and we expect a little thank you... like helping us make our soccer goals better." We don't even use soccer goals. We just use the space and mark our fields with cones.

I will not buy things for soccer when I am in need of things for rugby. There is more than soccer in this world.

I am not trying to diss soccer. Don't get me wrong, but to me it feels like a constant fight. Soccer is a great sport. It's another activity that keeps youth in a positive environment and occupies time in a positive and healthy way. BUT not EVERYBODY loves soccer. It's time to remember the world is made up of many fun and positive games. Rugby, hockey, basketball, volleyball, etc.

So, yes, today I am frustrated, mad, sad, stressed, upset.

It's expected to have challenges here. And I learn from all of them. But it doesn't make it easier.

What saves me is seeing my players, my kids, playing, smiling, enjoying, and engaging in a positive environment. If we can keep that going, we are good to go!